How Luba Seleznova Changed the Ukrainian Matchmaker Industry

Quick note before I start. This one is a little different than usual. It is more personal, more from my heart than my usual how to posts. I finally wanted to say out loud what these last couple of years have actually felt like. The good, the bad and the amazing.

The biggest way I changed this industry is simple. I stopped chasing women one by one and I started letting the right women come to me. My Instagram now reaches over a million views a month, so instead of hunting for a rare match I post what a man is looking for and the women who truly fit apply themselves. That flip changed everything, and now other matchmakers copy it, message me to advertise their clients, and even ask me to find them a husband.

When even other matchmakers message me to find them a man

Here is the thing that honestly still surprises me. Western matchmakers reach out because I have the reach. International matchmakers reach out and say they have a male client and not enough good women, can I help. That part I understand. But then the matchmakers who own these agencies message me too, and they say Luba, if you have a good man for me, can you set me up. Even matchmakers come to me to find a husband. When that started happening I knew the ground had moved under this whole business.

We were late to the party. We are not the ones who have been around twenty years. We just did our own thing, and now they copy our website, our content, the way Stryker and I talk to each other on camera. At the start their pages were bigger than mine, five and six years old. I reached the biggest page in the space in two years. For a long time that made me want to cry. Then I realised something better was possible.

I stopped thinking they are trying to destroy me and started thinking I can change the whole industry.

So I let go of the anger and I looked at what I could actually build. If I could make the industry work the way I saw it from the very beginning, honest and real, then let them copy. My Ukrainian matchmaking service is not a secret formula anyway. The real difference is the reach and how we use it.

We put up a billboard instead of chasing women

Here is the best way to picture what changed. Before, the matchmaker had to go and seek her out. You had a man with a certain wish and you went searching, profile by profile, hoping to find one woman who fit. Now Stryker says it perfectly. We put up a big billboard, we see who looks at it, and whoever says that is me, she reaches out to us. We flipped the whole thing.

Before we said we can find your perfect woman. Now I say if this is you, send me a message.

To be clear, the reach only opens the door. She still goes through the full screening. We take her passport, we do a real live video, my assistant talks to her, and we do facial recognition. One man got seven hundred thousand views on his video and asked where is the result. It takes time because I never rush a woman into the database just because she applied. If you want to understand what that level of work costs and why, I explain it in what a Ukrainian matchmaker costs.

The unusual requests I can finally say yes to

This is the part I never imagined I would be able to do. When a man had an unusual wish, doing it one on one was almost impossible. Now I post it to the page and the right women raise their hands. Let me give you the real ones from this last while.

Religious men. When faith matters deeply it is very hard to measure that in one on one matchmaking. On my page I can say this man goes to church, he reads the Bible before bed, and the women who live the same way say that is me.

Men who do not want to travel far. A couple of years ago we dreamed about a man not having to fly across the world. This year one man closed his whole first package with Ukrainian ladies who were already living in the United States. Two of them even had a green card. He never left America and now he is choosing who to propose to.

Men who relocate or work remotely. Three years ago if a man said I work remotely or I do not know where I will live next year, we shut it down as instability. The world changed after covid and the war. Now I have beautiful women in Spain and Germany, settled, with their own home and business, who would happily welcome a man relocating to Europe. That was literally impossible before.

Very specific wishes. A man who wanted a woman who plays a musical instrument. A vegetarian. Men with a certain view on family and children and the ages involved. And yes, I even made videos asking women who do not want intimacy before marriage to apply, and a lot of women did, because for them it mattered that the man felt the same. When you have the reach, wishes that used to be impossible become simply difficult, and difficult is doable.

When a wish is really specific and a man wants us to go looking with intention, that is exactly what our bespoke Rocket Search is for. The reach finds who is out there. The search goes and gets her.

Why I still say no, even when a woman offers me money

People think more reach means we take everyone. The opposite is true. Some agencies charge the women to be clients, and the only reason they do that is to make money on women. I do not need their money. A woman could pay me a fortune and still never be in my database if she treats my assistant badly.

She can pay me anything she likes and she will still not be my client if she has no respect.

My assistant is the best test. Some women respect me and respect her equally. Others act like who are you to talk to me, I sent photos, that is enough. That woman is never going in the database. Respect is not something you can fake on a first call.

The screening is also why we protect our men. We do facial recognition on every woman. Roughly one in twenty or thirty has something online she thought was long gone, sometimes from an old relationship where a man posted things without care, sometimes from studios that opened during covid. It does not always mean she is a bad person or a bad future wife. But we have clients to protect, so we cannot take her, and we at least warn her that it is still online so she can try to deal with it. That care is the whole reason we do not do fast matchmaking.

How I turned an ugly word into my own brand

There is a word in Russian for matchmaker, swaha. If you say it to someone it brings up an image of an old witch sitting in the forest with sticks trying to cast a spell. That is how it felt to me since childhood. And honestly matchmaker was never even a real profession like doctor or dentist or hairdresser.

So I started a series on my Instagram, the angry matchmaker, where I tell the women straight. Why did you come on a date with no makeup. Why are you asking him so hard about his ex. Why are you telling him things you should never say on a first date. I felt uncomfortable calling myself swaha at first, like it added years to me in my own head. Then I decided no, that woman in the funny dress with the flowers, that is me now, and I am not ashamed.

The funny part is that such an ugly word became something people want. Now the other matchmakers call themselves swaha too, because I made it mean someone young, active, energetic and honest. Stryker even told me to brand it as mine.

Let them copy us, the whole industry gets better

I launched a mini course for the women about how we work and how to handle a first date. Within about a week the other matchmakers copied it. I was devastated and angry. Six thousand women have done my course. Theirs get maybe one or two hundred. But then I thought, how good is that really.

Because if those women come on a date looking better, asking better questions, more warm and more kind, then men are happier, even if that woman is not my client. She is a Ukrainian woman representing my culture, and that makes me proud. If other matchmakers copy us and become more honest, drop the scammy letter writing and the fake matches, that is good for everyone. If you want to see the more hands on side of how we coach our own clients, that is what our Level Up coaching is built around.

Stryker put it the way I now believe it. We set the example. Now they either follow it or they get left behind. That is not bad competition, that is the industry finally growing up. And I am grateful, because there were nights I called him crying that I could not do it anymore, and he always told me I was the best. So I decided I could not just be the best in my head. I had to deliver it. That is why I changed the industry, and I am not finished.

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About this

I am Luba Seleznova, cofounder of Heart Rocket. My husband Stryker and I built this by refusing to do it the fast or scammy way, and by using social media to reach the real women instead of chasing rare ones. If you are a serious man wondering whether we can meet your needs, honestly, because of the reach, we are the ones who can. Book a consult and tell me what you actually want.